


The bird and the bees means the bird gets stung

by Masterofceremonies



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:18:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5857357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofceremonies/pseuds/Masterofceremonies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin's in a new school. Someone catches his eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Robin glowered at the new student who was sitting diagonal from him across the classroom. Technically, they were all new, but Robin felt like he belonged here more than the abomination that twitched and fidgeted, doodling something onto a sketchpad with a bright orange mechanical pencil. As the teacher prattled on about the Civil War, Robin found himself hating the student with all of his body.

            It was his hair. A bright shade of green that most people wouldn’t even consider buying if it were on a tshirt, and their entire head was dyed the offensive shade. Robin couldn’t help but glare, even though the boy didn’t look up from his drawing to see the hatred being thrown his way.

It wasn’t that the boy had done anything to offend Robin personally, but the hair… it was too similar to the Joker. But cut differently, with the sides shaved, and the top long enough to fall to the side, or in his face. Still shorter than the Joker’s shoulder length and greasy hair, but too similar to ignore.

            Robin had grown up wanting to dye his hair red, or yellow, or yes, even green. He loved bright colors, and being in the circus had meant that he was surrounded by people in fantastic and ridiculous outfits all the time, so dying his hair seemed blasé.

Of course, when Bruce adopted him after his parent’s death, that idea had flown out the window.

Bruce was too conservative, and after he had taken on the persona of Robin, it would be too easy to pick him out of the crowd if his hair was neon red. Despite having to tone down his own appearance, he normally didn’t resent people based on theirs. It was just this particular boy that rubbed him the wrong way.

            But it was the last block of the day, and history was an easy class. He could just sit back and-

            “Harper.” The teacher suddenly called, making Robin jump as he snapped out of his daydream. The green haired boy froze, his pencil ceasing it’s movement across the page. “What are you doing?”

            “Drawing.” The boy mumbled, eyes drifting up to meet the teachers. Robin noticed those were green too, and processed that his name was Harper. That fact made him frown for some reason.

            “And what are you drawing?” The teacher said, in the tone that conveyed he didn’t really care; but he wanted to prove a point by messing with him. Harper grinned and Robin shuddered. He was too similar to the Joker for him to smile without a chill running down Robin’s spine.

            “Hannibal Lecter.” He said, his voice louder now. The teacher frowned at the confident and easy answer.

            “Put it away.” He ordered and Harper’s smile faded, his eyes darkening and flicking to the assistant teacher who was sitting in the corner of the class. She gave him a subtle shake of her head and he flipped the sketchpad shut, sliding it into his bag. The teacher nodded and went back to droning on about the Civil War. Robin already knew all he needed to about that topic, so he chose instead to focus his energy on figuring out the green haired boy who now had a name.

            He hadn’t obeyed the teacher instantly, and the hesitation was only minute, but enough that Robin noticed it. Instead he had looked to the assistant teacher who had not been introduced, and in fact, Robin only assumed she was the assistant teacher because of her age and school badge. He noticed that she was paying attention to the actual teacher, while Harper glared at her for a minute before his gaze dropped to his hands.

            So she was in charge of Harper somehow, and he expected her to back him up on being able to draw in class. But she didn’t so he was mad. Robin nodded to himself, figuring that was the most acceptable explanation. There was a pause in the teacher talking and Robin realized he was being looked at. Oh shit, the teacher had asked a question and he hadn’t even heard it.

            “Uh…” He began, trying to stall for time.

            “Jefferson Davis.” A voice suddenly blurted and the class turned to look once again at the green haired boy who was picking at his fingernails.

            “Thank you, Harper, but please let other students answer.” The teacher grumbled and went back to talking. Robin assigned a small part of his brain to track the conversation as he redoubled his attention on Harper, who gave him a small glance, noticed he was staring, and pulled a face.

            Robin was taken aback. What the hell was that? Were they in kindergarten? Before he could process a reply, he had instinctively pulled a face back, causing Harper to grin and laugh silently.

            Shit.

            He hadn’t meant to do that. He hadn’t meant to draw attention to himself. That was Bruce’s biggest thing. Keep your head down. Of course, the hypocrisy of Bruce Wayne telling someone to remain anonymous didn’t escape either of them, but there was a difference between having an obnoxious playboy persona to cover up being a vigilante and being a highschool student who happened to be the sidekick of said vigilante.

            The bell eventually rang, and Robin stood up slowly, unsure of whether he should approach the boy or not. Before he could decide on a course of action, Harper bolted by him and disappeared down the hall, heading towards the back of the school instead of to the busses like everyone else.

            That was just too interesting to ignore.

            Robin shouldered his bag, counted to five, and then followed, trying to ignore the bad feeling he got by doing so.


	2. Chapter 2

Robin kept as close as he could to the green haired boy while being deterred by the crowds moving against him and towards the busses. He barely managed to spot the shock of brightly colored hair disappear out a back door in time. Curiosity growing, opened the door as quietly as he could and peered outside, catching sight of Harper cutting across the nearly deserted teacher's parking lot. 

Robin was already too invested to call it quits, so he counted silently to three, then followed, putting more distance between them now that there were no busy hallways to keep him hidden.

Harper wasn't rushing, but his pace was quick enough that Robin got the sense he was trying to make it somewhere in time. But in time for what?

His question was answered when he caught sight of an ugly mauve car, old and boxy like it was from the 50s, diagonally parked across three empty spots on the fringe of the blacktop, right before the chainlink fence. 

Robin snuck as close as he could, hiding behind a small Fiat and peering cautiously through the tinted windows as Harper approached the car.

When he was a few feet away, the rear door swung open, and Robin's blood turned to ice at the sight of the man that emerged.

The Joker.

"Hello there, Harpo!." He called, seemingly unconcerned about the possibility of being overheard. "How was your first day of school?"

"Terrible." Harper replied, just as he was swept up into what Robin first thought was an attempt to crush his ribs, but realized a moment later that it was the Joker's version of a hug. "You were right." Harper managed to grit out as the air was squeezed from his body.

"Ah, well. The price of wisdom is age, my dear." Joker set him down and stepped back, resting his hands on Harper's shoulders.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harper asked archly.

"When you're my age you know things, but when you're  _your_ age, you don't listen to anyone  _my_ age." Joker laughed. "And by the time you realize it... you're my age, and there's some other little snot nosed brat telling you they know better!" He ruffled Harper's hair.

"Well, you can say you told me so all you want, as long as I don't have to come back here." 

"One and done, eh? Well at least you gave it the old college try. Or highschool try... it's the same thing, just cheaper. And easier! But much, _much_  more painful." Joker laughed again, stepping aside and motioning for Harper to get in. "Whaddya think about pizza for dinner tonight, kiddo? To celebrate your foray into the asylum, and making it back unscathed?"

"Sure. Anything's better than Mom's cooking." Harper retrieved his sketchbook from his backpack before tossing the bag aside, papers and textbooks spilling out onto the pavement as he slid into the car. 

"Harley can't even make a decent whipped cream pie as a prop, much less cuisine that's not supposed to explode." Joker agreed, getting in beside the boy and slamming the door.

The car peeled out, leaving Robin alone, still frozen in place.

_Mom._

He had said Mom, but when the Joker replied he had mentioned...

Robin sat down hard on the pavement, head spinning as he realized that for an hour of his day he had been sitting across from the child of the Joker and Harley Quinn.


End file.
